Mini-KISS My Ass...


Is anyone else filled with an intense loathing for MiniKISS? Just wondering. I mean… I know they’re a curiosity act, and that they don’t perform often—at least not anymore. I know that, as little people, their prospects in the entertainment industry might be even more limited than those of an overweight bald man approaching middle age with an epic goatee and a guitar. But they piss me off…

These guys are getting paid to do 2 nights at a casino in Indiana. They’re supposed to be re-creating the experience of a KISS concert, but in miniature. Their costumes were initially horrible, and only got better as they bought the janky-ass low-quality KISS halloween costumes that came out. They don't put the make-up on correctly. They don't play the instruments. They don’t even update (or spellcheck) their website (which, as of this writing, still advertises their 2010 “tour” and has a flash ad describing them as a “HIGH ENGERY KISS / 80s ROCK SHOW.” High “engery” is right. This act will cause serious “engery” to your frontal lobe and self-esteem.


I'm a performer--I make my living at it. I’m even pretty good at it—really good if you believe people after my shows (but they’re often drunk or drinking, so… Grain of salt, right?) The venues and clubs I work for—comedy clubs in general—do very little to promote a non-celebrity act. But these asshat clowns have been in Rolling Stone, Spin, Guitar World, and Hustler Magazine, among others. Real performers with real talent can’t get publicity for shit, but these fuckwads get a commercial with KISS and venues pay to advertise their less than mediocre “talent.”
Jesus, this is everything wrong with entertainment. It's the musical equivalent of Hollywood remaking old movies, but doing it really badly, and then pretending that the shitty job was intentional irony. I’m not at all against people busting their asses and exploiting their assets to make a buck. Strippers, porn stars, models, actors, comedians, musicians… All of us have to do that. But these guys could at least learn to play and at least TRY to do the costumes and makeup well. And they should stop calling themselves a tribute BAND.

Shit like this is why so many people have so little respect for actual creativity.